Say my name, over and over again

Two years ago, when Berlin Station first aired, I got a little kick out of the fact that one of the characters on it was named Esther (played by Mina Tander). And not just any character, but the woman would turn out to be a love-interest for Daniel Miller (Richard Armitage)!

Berlin Station S02E07 (13)

A year after Berlin Station I discovered Suits and got caught up in (binge-)watching that. In season 5 there was a guest character on the show who was also called Esther (played by Amy Acker), the sister of one of the main lawyers on the show (Louis Litt played by Rick Hoffman). She became a fling for the main guy Harvey Specter (played by Gabriel Macht).


Ever since then I have been meaning to make an ‘Esther’ fan video in which Richard Armitage and Gabriel Macht say my name, over and over again. Now that I have finally finished watching the second season of Berlin Station, I finally decided the time had come. So, here it is, the video I finished making this weekend, featuring my name (said by more people than just Richard and Gabriel)…

When I was a kid, I really didn’t like my name. In time I made peace with it and now, over the years, I guess I have finally gotten used to it; I have warmed to it in such a way that I am now happy enough with it. This video is all silliness, and feels somewhat narcissistic, but it was nice hearing my name on the lips of actors I like and love and it’s been fun documenting it in this video!  🙂



Marta Dusseldorp, lead actress from A Place To Call Home who plays Sarah, actually saw the fan video I made recently for George and Sarah in season 5!

Marta Dusseldorp APTCH season 6

How do I know that she has seen it? She tweeted a reaction!

Last year she retweeted something I wrote and this time she actually commented and again I am stoked! I had to reply to her, of course…

I never fangirl to garner attention from the object of my affection, I never tweet to the objects of my affection (I only hashtag them) and I never ever expect a reaction. In fact, I am more than fine not being noticed, I’d be embarrassed… I just fangirl because I need to let my enthusiasm out. So, when one of your fangirl objects personally acknowledges you for something you have done because you admire the work they do, I admit, it makes me feel giddy! Thank you Marta for making my day! 🙂

2018 RA Fan challenge, part U to Z

My fifth and final set of answers to Guylty’s fan challenge! (Answers A-E here | F-J here | K-O here | P-T here)

2018 Fan A to Z

U. Have you added anything stupid/crackyhilarious to your fandom, if so, what?

Um… other than what I publish here on blog? Nope, don’t think so…

V. Your favourite fan artist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for?

A “John” shrine from you, Guylty? You know, John Thornton, John Porter and John Proctor in one lovely little shrine… with candles. (Pity Harry Kennedy wasn’t a John…)

W. A promt of AU for a piece of fan art/fiction

Fan fiction prompt – sheesh, I don’t know. I hardly ever read fan fiction anymore. I would like to find a modern retelling of North & South, though. I remember reading one waaay back when but when I searched a while back, I couldn’t find the one I meant. So, if anyone can recommend a good modern retelling of North & South, please point me in the right direction in the comments!

North & South behind scenes

Fan art – I have no idea! I leave it up to the very creative artists…

X. Is there a fellow fan who got you into either delurking or convinced you to participate in the fandom?

No one fan encouraged me to delurk but reading other blogs did awaken the idea that I could do this blogging thing as well!

Y. Choose a work of art or song that reminds you of RA.

Several songs remind me of Richard, mostly songs used in some fave ‘vintage’ fan videos. I once blogged about those here: general Richard videos, North & South videos, Vicar of Dibley videos and Strike Back videos.

I think the most Richard-y of songs for me are: ‘Sexy Back’…


…and ‘Jungle Drum’

My favourite piece of art reminding me of Richard is a piece of fan art: the painting my mother once made for me of The Crucible, which I now also use as my phone cover & which was signed by Richard!


Z. A chaRActer headcanon you have?

I’m never quite sure what headcanon is, just looked it up…

Headcanon def

I guess my North & South fan fiction had the headcanon that Henry was jealous of John and tried to break him and Margaret up (but it didn’t work). That’s an old one, though. I don’t think I have that many chaRActer headcanons…

The end of the challenge!

That's all folks

It’s been fun again, thanks Guylty!

2018 RA Fan challenge, part P to T

My fourth set of answers to Guylty’s fan challenge! (Answers A-E here | F-J here | K-O here)

2018 Fan A to Z

P. RA on the big screen or RA on TV?

Basically, for me, it’s RA wherever I can actually see him! The lovely thing of seeing him on the big screen is that you see him larger than life and that is always a bonus! The lovely thing of seeing him on the small screen is that, if he’s doing a series, he can be there every week for a while.  But no, I have no real preference. I just want him to make good stories on a visual platform that I can easily access again and again. Last night I found him on Netflix, which made me happy! 🙂

Q. Third season of BS or not?

Not. I haven’t even braved season two yet…  In season one, I found the storytelling too convoluted, too many plotlines, too many characters, no one to root for. Admittedly, Daniel is wonderful to look at…

… and his ‘love’ interest was called Esther (if it even was love), which means I could hear Richard say my name occasionally…

…but to me Daniel Miller has little to no personality. While Richard really makes the best of it, neither the character nor the storytelling nor the plots have ever been able to really grip me. So, for me, no more  Berlin Station necessary, time to move on.

R. OTPs – what is your favourite pairing of RA’s past work?

It’s just got to be John and Margaret in North and South

S. Which actor would you like to see him paired with in the future?

Ooh, answering it now, I’d say Gugu Mbatha Raw, whom I have only recently really discovered. I’d like to see Richard and her in something romantic together. They already look good together side by side..

I also thought he had great chemistry with Orla Brady in Strike Back, so I’d like to see him work with her again.

But really, any good actress with whom he has chemistry will do! As for actors – if he could be in a movie with Colin Firth and Hugh Jackman, that would be so cool!

Hugh Colin

T. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom?

Have I contributed anything to the Richard Armitage fandom? Well, maybe this blog. Oh, and an N&S fan fiction that I once published on an Armitage forum years ago. Reading it back now, I would change a lot about it, so I’m not owning up to it here… 😉

N&S continued


2018 RA Fan challenge, part K to O

My third set of answers to Guylty’s fan challenge! (Answers A-E here and F-J here)

2018 Fan A to Z

K. Have you met RA? Have you got a photo to share? And what did you say to him?

Yes, I have, twice, and I have blogged about it both times! Once at The Old Vic’s stage door and just this past spring at the Newcastle International Film Festival while I was having a bad hair day. 🙂

L. Dealbreakers – what would make you stop being RA’s fan?

Racism, sexual harassment and cruelty to people (from kids to the elderly) are always dealbreakers for me; when people start seeing other people as labels instead of human beings and start labelling them as inferior vermin, that’s a real dealbreaker. Right now, for me, that would mean that if Richard turned out to support anything Donald Trump does or says, I don’t think I could stomach that! Donald Trump doesn’t only go against every political belief I have (that I could deal with) but he more importantly goes against every single rule of decency and moral feeling I have with his blatant lies, rudeness, cheap shots, racist and misogynist remarks, corruption, self-worship and now ensuring children get torn away from their parents at borders (and blaming it on Democrats!). I only see harshness and making a buck and egotism in Donald Trump, I see nothing that has compassion or humanity at its base. So, if Richard supported such a man, that would be my current dealbreaker because I would wonder what had happened to Richard’s compassionate and humanitarian side that I now so often see shine through and that I love. I have a feeling we are not in any danger of Richard supporting Trump, so for now, we’re all good!

M. RA has spoken Russian, French and German in his roles so far. How good was he and which one was your favourite?

I can’t recall if I liked his Russian or not, it’s been sooooo long since I’ve seen him do Lucas North. Even if I remembered, I wouldn’t be able to judge how good it sounded, other than it maybe sounding sexy. 😉

Richard’s German was fun to hear, as I speak German as well, but the first time I heard him speak German I couldn’t quite understand everything he said. He seemed to swallow his words a little and rush them and not get all the pronunciation quite right. I figure he needs a little more practice there, maybe I could help! 😉 Maybe it’s easier to judge an accent when you don’t actually understand the language…

Richard’s French, however, sounded pretty good to me!

N. Which accent/language would you like RA to speak in a future role?

Languages – I’d like to hear him develop the German one more so he gets better at it. And, as a Dutch person, I’d like to hear him try out some Dutch, of course. Again, I could help! 😉

With accents – I don’t think doing accents is his greatest talent. The first time I heard him do an American accent in Into the Storm, I cringed. It didn’t feel natural to me. He did much better with the American accent in Berlin Station, so if he keeps working at it, I can live with the US accent. But mostly I love any UK accent he does, it was fun hearing him do Yorkshire in Urban and the Shed Crew.

It’d be interesting to hear him try Irish or Scottish!

O. Casual RA or dressed-to-the-nines RA?

I like both but think I have a small preference for casual RA. He is so approachable when casually dressed, like I could just go up and give him a hug if he let me. These are a few of my faves…

And I really liked his NIFF look too…