So, Richard’s new project for Netflix, Obsession, will start airing mid April and I’ve been reading some of the reactions to the new trailer…

Richard always looks so good when he looks so intense and focussed…

… and for that I will watch this. The project in itself has never interested me that much, though. Not because of the sex scenes, which I have no problem with as long as they aren’t too gratuitous and are somehow integral to the story, but because of the whole love triangle thing. I hate love triangle stories in general and a love triangle with a father and son involved has me cringing even more. Yeah, I get that it’s supposed to be about all encompassing and uncontrollable obsession and how destructive that is, but still…

Richard seems to think (as per this Guardian article) we should all at least once experience an all-consuming orgasm and that we should all be pitied if we do not at least once feel an overwhelming physical obsession for someone.

The thrust of Obsession is broadly as Armitage describes: “Has anybody ever stepped into your life who has given you that sense of overwhelming, indescribable physical obsession? If they have, did you end up in a relationship with them or did you choose to walk away? If they haven’t, I pity you. Because everyone should feel that.”

Yeah… nope! I know the man is promoting his movie, but really? I know all about obsession when I dive into some actor that I obsess over (not only Richard, I’ve obsessed over others too) and while, yes, it’s fun for a while, it also comes at a cost, i.e. no time for anything else, sleeping less and this constant hunger to learn more and more feels insatiable. At some point it’s good to get out of it. Luckily, that is only about fan-life and harmless with no lying and cover ups and hurting loved ones involved. It’s more than enough obsession for me in my life. If I felt such an obsession for someone real, especially physically, I know it would be destructive and I really don’t think it would be gratifying in any way, it would just become soul crushingly depressing. I prefer to make better decisions for myself that make me happy. My life is too precious to mess up with such an obsession. I am very happily consumed by a deep love for my husband and my kids, I don’t need an obsession messing that up. As for an all-consuming orgasm – aren’t most orgasms that anyway? And if you can’t have one, for whatever reason, is it really so terrible to miss out on that when there are other great things in your life as well? For me, this article is probably best quickly forgotten.

Next week there will be a Q&A session at the BFI in London about Obsession

I had hoped to be there myself for a little last minute trip to London but alas I can’t make it. I wonder what Richard will have to say then and I hope it’s better than what he said for that Guardian article. Fingers crossed! I also wonder whether Obsession can surprise me in a good way. I’m still open to trying it.

23 thoughts on “Obsession

  1. I was just thinking about the most memorable moments of my life so far — I made a list of about a dozen and ranked them — and none of them involve having had a orgasm. Maybe because I’m not a man? (although I have had some great orgasms, a few that I remember, and I have heard that female orgasms are supposed to be much better than male orgasms — although I also don’t know how people make that determination).

    I think the position that you are sorry for people who haven’t had an all-consuming relationship or a great orgasm was never going to be an easy sell with women in general and this fandom in particular.

    Liked by 5 people

        1. You know, I think many fans can relate to the obsession element, If I look on Twitter I see enough Armitage obsession going around and that is fine. I still follow all the man does myself, so I’m not obsession-free either and that’s fine too. It’s just this black and white statement that you have not lived until you have felt it to a certain all-consuming extent that got to me.

          Liked by 3 people

          1. It’s a kind of exclusion that is not typical of the things he says (which is why I think some of us are reacting allergically). He says plenty of questionable things imo but they usually don’t exclude people from being fully human.

            More on my blog, maybe … lol.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Yes on that! I wonder whether maybe his quotes were taken out of context? Or maybe it was meant to shock, that can raise viewership. Or maybe he was just caught up in a moment and it was a throwaway comment he hadn’t thought through? Or maybe he actually meant it? In any case, not his finest hour, I think.

              Liked by 2 people

            2. Yup, judgmental about other people’s lives is not a good look; and on this subject in particular a bit silly. Life is full of all sorts of experiences, Mr Armitage, is what i wanted to say; but he probably knows that if he stops and thinks. I’ll take it into the context of film promo and leave it there.

              Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: À la recherche du temps perdu — not | Me + Richard Armitage

  3. Kate

    I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who found these comments off-putting. And I say that as someone who doesn’t feel personally attacked by them or that my humanity is being brought into question.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have only been able to skim through your and Guylty’s posts and see that Servetus has thrown in her two cents as well. Hopefully more time to read better later on but yeah, glad critical thought is still around. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh, and I didn’t feel personally attacked either, I feel pretty secure in myself and my humanity. It just felt so short-sighted, not something I’m really used to from him.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I wonder if it’s a case of having trouble letting a character go? That would so have been my question for him at the BFI next week. Last year I watched a film that won Ronald Colman his Oscar in 1948 called “A Double Life”. It’s about an actor playing Othello who finds it increasingly difficult to draw the line between fiction and reality and I wonder how difficult it is for Richard to shed the characters he plays, especially these intense ones.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Kate

            Or maybe speaking from the character’s perspective on purpose, but the article doesn’t make that clear? That’s why I find these types of interview/essay pieces difficult. You never know who said what in which context exactly.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. With my somewhat inhibited response to the sexual nature of “Obsession”, I had been wondering whether I was just being prudish (and abnormal) when I also balked at RA’s declarations on “all-consuming orgasms”. I am glad to see that you, too, found those comments problematic. I agree that (the joys of) human existence are not synonymous with great sex only. Humans are much more nuanced. Reducing the human experience to the irrational, animal-instinct part of us, falls short.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yep I thought the same about all-consuming orgasms, they are not usually unobtrusive however brief they are! I am sorry you couldn’t make it to the Q&A and hope you will have other opportunities.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sure there will be other opportunities. Luckily for me London isn’t too far away from The Netherlands. I’ll be there again for a long weekend at the end of April. 🙂 Wouldn’t it be lovely if he had something public planned then as well? Although I think by then most PR will be over, I suspect it will only start up again in the fall for the print version of his book.

      Liked by 1 person

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